(Not just the Tammy Wynette song)
Whenever I see the word “divorce,” I can’t help but hear Tammy Wynette singing “Our D-I-V-O-R-C-E was final today…” Maybe you do too. But country music aside, what does it actually mean when we say someone is “getting divorced?”
Most of us—and yes, lawyers too—use the word “divorce” as a catch-all for the entire process of ending a marriage. From that first gut-wrenching conversation about separating, to decisions about kids, finances, and eventually signing the final paperwork. But that’s not technically accurate.
If you Googled it (and let’s be honest, you probably did), you found this definition of divorce: “the legal dissolution of a marriage by a court or other competent body.” Translation? A divorce is a single court order that legally ends your marriage—just like a marriage certificate legally starts it.
So why does it feel like so much more? Because the word “divorce” has become shorthand for the mountain of decisions, paperwork, emotions, and negotiations that come with it.
Let’s take Cathy and Steve as an example. They’re still living together, telling friends they’re getting divorced. But legally? They’re not even close. In states like North Carolina, you must be physically separated for 366 days before you can even file for divorce. If no one moves out—no legal divorce.
But that doesn’t mean you’re stuck. Here’s the good news: you don’t have to wait to move out to move forward. With mediation—and more specifically, with Together You Part and The TYP Way℠—you can work through everything: parenting schedules, financial support, property division, and more. No need to file court papers, no need to drag each other through litigation.
In fact, when couples use Together You Part, the actual divorce decree becomes a final detail—not the starting point. Mediation helps you sort out the big stuff early, so by the time the paperwork gets signed, you’re already well on your way to your next chapter.
