Let’s start with the obvious: child support is confusing.
Not because you’re not smart. Not because you can’t do math. It’s confusing because the system is full of terms that sound straightforward—but mean something entirely different once you’re sitting across from a calculator… or a lawyer.
Let’s break it down.
Gross vs. Net Income: The Classic Mismatch
You get your paycheck. You see the top-line number—your gross income. Then you look at the net. That’s what actually lands in your bank account after taxes, insurance, retirement contributions, and every other deduction under the sun.
Here’s the kicker: most child support calculators use your gross income.
That means child support is often based on a number you never actually receive. For a lot of people, this leads to support amounts that feel nearly impossible to afford. You’re expected to pay a percentage of a paycheck that doesn’t exist in real life.
So when someone says, “It’s just based on your income,” be aware—it’s not as simple as it sounds.
What Even Counts as Income?
Salary? Sure. But also: bonuses, commissions, rental income, investment earnings, unemployment, retirement payouts… and sometimes even gifts or business perks. It’s a long list, and it varies by state.
Bottom line: it’s not just your paycheck that counts. And if your income fluctuates month to month? That’s a different conversation.
The “Extraordinary Expenses” Gray Area
Now let’s talk about those other categories—like extraordinary expenses. Sounds dramatic, right?
In the child support world, “extraordinary” often includes things like private school tuition, tutoring, therapy not covered by insurance, or sports and extracurriculars that go beyond the usual budget.
But what counts as “extraordinary” is a moving target. One judge might think competitive soccer is optional. Another might call it essential to your child’s well-being. And, parents often disagree—one sees enrichment, the other sees excess.
With traditional, court-based child support, this kind of gray area usually leads to more conflict (and more hours on the clock for the lawyers). But it doesn’t have to.
If you and your co-parent work with Together You Part, we’ll look at what the state guidelines say. But then we’ll talk—like real people. We’ll look at your actual budget, your actual expenses, and your actual life. And, together, we’ll create a plan that’s sustainable, thoughtful, and focused on what your child really needs.
No court battles. No one-size-fits-none solutions.
Instead of fighting over the meaning of “extraordinary,” you and your co-parent get to make agreements that actually make sense. You stay in the driver’s seat—working toward clarity, not confusion.
