Short answer? Not if you don’t want it to be.
We’ve all seen the ads:
“We’ll fight tooth and nail to protect your rights!”
“Better call us before your spouse does!”
A personal favorite? A black-and-white glamour shot of a female attorney wearing boxing gloves.
These aren’t made up—they’re real ads. And they tell you exactly what to expect: court, conflict, and chaos.
When I started practicing family law in 2001, going through a divorce meant going to war. This wasn’t just a vibe—it was the strategy. Mediation wasn’t common, collaborative law was barely a thing, and co-parenting support? Non-existent. The lawyers leading the charge were courtroom warriors, trained to win at any cost. Some didn’t even try to hide it. I once worked for a lawyer who called the children involved “POWs” (prisoners of war). Let that sink in.
Even today, many lawyers still carry that same combative mindset. They’ve softened their language—branding themselves as “guides” or “partners”—but their default setting is still court. Why? Because that’s what they know. And frankly, it’s what pays the bills.
But it doesn’t have to be your path.
There are lawyers who truly want to help their clients avoid the battlefield. The trick is finding them—and staying in control of your process. That’s where Together You Part comes in. We’ve created tools to help you stay in the driver’s seat from the start, including our guide: Choosing the Right Lawyer. It walks you through how to spot red flags, ask the right questions, and make sure your lawyer works for you—not the other way around.
If you’d like a copy of the guide, just Hop In and take our Mediation Match Assessment—it’s right at the top of our homepage.
The bottom line: You don’t have to go to war to end your marriage. Together, you can part with clarity, collaboration, and control.
